"I went to buy an MP3 player from Office Depot," the reader recently wrote. "The listing includes a tiny 'Details' link to their 'Total Asset Protection' plan which leads to verbiage talking about it being fully insured and offering complete protection against costly service bills. But before buying it I thought I ought to take a look at the Terms & Conditions."

The coverage as initially described in the terms seemed reasonable enough:

"This Contract provides for the repair or replacement of the covered Product to normal operating condition after it has failed due to defects in materials and workmanship and normal wear and tear which lead to the failure of Your covered Product to perform its intended functions."

But then the reader saw that among the exclusions not covered by the plan was this:

"Failure, inoperability, or disruption of any product or product functions due to any manufacturer defect..."

That struck the reader as somewhat contradictory. "What would the difference be between a manufacturer defect and defects in materials and workmanship?" he wondered. And then he pondered this exclusion:

"Conditions which existed prior to Your purchase and delivery of the Product or the Contract;"

"How would a 'defect in materials and workmanship' happen after manufacture, shipment and purchase?" he wrote. "Of course, if it somehow did, I suppose the previous Catch 22 would still void the coverage anyway."

As the reader read through all the other exclusions in the terms and conditions for TechDepot's Total Asset Protection, they seemed pretty all encompassing. "Damage, loss, theft, wear and tear are all excluded," the reader wrote. "Cosmetic damage or failure of non-operational components are out too -- if the case falls apart, it's just too bad, so sad."

The reader decided he'd pass on Office Depot's extended service plan. "When I consider the things that could go wrong with a device, I find it impossible to think of one that is actually covered," he concluded. "If it breaks it is obviously a manufacturing defect and therefore excluded. Rain, sleet, snow, terror, Acts of God - all excluded. If the planet deorbits, coverage is subject to the laws of whatever galaxy you land in. Total Asset Protection is not very total, except for what it excludes."