A reader attending a recent tradeshow was handed a surprising promotional giveaway by the makers of BitDefender antivirus software. It was a condom - the BitDefender Prophylactic. "Secure your every bit," the package said. "When used properly, BitDefender Prophylactics prevent unauthorized/involuntary exchange of potentially hazardous biological material." While that was amusing, the reader was even more surprised to discover that in the package, along with the actual condom, there was a long "End User License Agreement and Disclaimer of Warranty" for the BitDefender Prophylactic. It started off:

Please read the following end user license agreement carefully. If you do not agree to these terms and conditions do not install the BitDefender Prophylactic (hereafter referred to as "the hardware" or alternatively "BitDefender Prophylactic"). By installing or using this hardware in any way, you are indicating your complete understanding and acceptance of the terms of this agreement.

The EULA goes on to say that the BitDefender Prophylactic is licensed, not sold, and is protected by copyright law and international treaty. Reverse engineering, recompiling disassembling, or modifying the product in any way is prohibited. And, of course, all warranties express and implied are disclaimed. And it even has the rather common EULA warning against using the product in dangerous circumstances:

Important Notice to Users: This hardware is not fault-tolerant and is not designed or intended for use in any hazardous environment requiring fail-safe performance or operation. This hardware is not for use in the operation of aircraft navigation, nuclear facilities, or communication systems, weapons systems, direct or indirect life-support systems, air traffic control, or any application or installation where failure could result in death, severe physical injury or property damage.

The EULA also takes a very hard line in terms of restricting use to a single "terminal" and prohibiting the user from sub-licensing, renting, selling, leasing of otherwise transferring ownership of the product:

You may install and use one BitDefender Prophylactic once. The license expires when use of the product is discontinued (i.e. the product is removed from the terminal on which it has been installed) ... A license for BitDefender Prophylactic may not be shared or used concurrently on different terminals. You should purchase a license pack if you require multiple licenses for use on multiple terminals.

Of course, I have to admit that this is maybe the one product where a waiver of transfer rights is entirely appropriate. If fact, it strikes me that maybe a lot of the standard EULA language makes more sense on a condom than on software. And while I'm not familiar with the BitDefender anti virus product, the company's sense of humor about EULAs is enough to make me think they ought to be taken seriously.